Here’s the problem scenario that wreaks havoc on your productivity …

You are in the middle of an important project. In fact it is so important that you have totally stalled. with self-doubts and asking yourself what insanity got you into this mess. You are feeling hopelessly stuck, the ideas or actions won’t flow, and worse, what you have just done seems abysmal.

You just can’t continue like this.

You are snapping at your nearest and dearest, and colleagues are really annoying, you’ve run out of patience with everyone. You thought you had a system, perhaps, but it’s not working any more. You sit down in front of the computer and your mind is totally blank. You have a headache, coffee is not helping, and you find yourself awake in the wee small hours fearing that your project end is a million miles away and you are afraid it’s never going to happen.

And guess what? The problem is this “nagging inner voice” that is taking control over your mind and emotional state, and hence your productivity.

A more favorable internal state of being, you know the feeling when ideas come easily, you feel good, and are eager and happy at work, is what’ll do the trick.

To get there, we need to step out of the current naggy state by silencing that voice.

Here are three ways to do it …

Method 1. Realize that for every nagger, there’s an ally. Find it and use it.

Close your eyes and mentally take a step back, see yourself as an onlooker to your own story. What are you seeing? Someone who is your best friend and ally, or your worst enemy, criticising you and putting you down? What would you be noticing? What would you be saying to encourage and support yourself? Remember, you are no longer in your story, you are an onlooker.

There is an old Cherokee Indian legend about an elder talking with his grandson, that goes like this:

“Son,” he says, “Within all of us there is a battle of two wolves. One is evil. He is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other wolf is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion  and faith.”

“The same fight is going on inside of you, and inside every other person, too,” explained the wise Cherokee elder.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The grandfather simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Do I need to say more? I think you get the message

Method 2. Remember your inner genius.

A great exercise to try is to think back to a time when you were on top of your game, when you were performing at your best. It helps to write this story down. It doesn’t matter when or where it was, relive the experience, think about what you were doing that made it go well. My guess is that someone was there in the sidelines supporting you and cheering you on. Perhaps you were relying on your skill, enthusiasm and effort to get you there.

I like this little video of Christopher Robin telling Pooh Bear that he is better than he thinks at solving life’s problems. Apart from being a little bit of light relief, there is a serious message that’s worth considering. In summary he is telling Pooh that “you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” At some level we all have an inner Einstein, we just need to trust it.

Method 3. Develop a quick plan in minutes, and take action right away.

There’s a simple technique called WOOP to make a fast plan to quiet the naggy inner critic.

To quote Gabriele Oettingen, researcher and writer of the book, Rethinking Positive Thinking:  Inside the New Science of Motivation, WOOP is “content neutral,” that is, it can be used to help with any kind of wish you might have, short term or long term, big or small. If you’re a professional, you can use it to reach a new milestone in your career, improve your skills—whatever you can think of. If you’re a student, you can apply it to study more productively. If you’re a mom or dad, you can apply it to handle challenging situations with your children more effectively.

Oettingen, Gabriele. Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation (Kindle Locations 1770-1773). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

It goes like this, and you need to find a quiet secluded space where you can think freely and creatively …

W – What are you wanting, what is the Wish you have at the moment? If there is more than one, then handle each one separately. What is something that you could achieve in a specific period of time, either in the short term, or it could be something that might take a year or two.

O – What’s the Outcome, the end game, what will you get out of achieving your wish? Really let your imagination run with this. Visualise yourself when you finally get there, what will be your reward, especially intrinsically. What great satisfaction will you get?

O – What are the Obstacles getting in the way of you achieving your wish? Oettingen says it’s not so much the physical barriers; they would be considered when you are developing your wish, if there are serious obstacles they would make the wish unfeasible. The real barriers are those inside yourself, the fears, self criticisms, doubts and unhelpful habits and behaviours that you have developed over time. Really think deeply about these, they are the things we often don’t like to face about ourselves, that regularly get in the path of our own success. Physically distancing yourself from your current place might make it easier to mentally stand back and see your true obstacles more clearly.

Some people like journaling or talking aloud with someone you trust so you can sort of “see yourself” and what you say, thus taking you out of “nagging mode”.

P – Plan to take one small step that you can start immediately and feel good about. Develop an if-then plan. For example if your obstacle is your self-talk, the self-criticisms you are heaping on yourself it doesn’t always help for you to tell yourself you are just being silly and you should just get on with things. Instead give those critical thoughts a name. I have a client, I’ll call Lynn who calls that nagging voice Donald. She says, ‘thank you Donald for wanting to protect me from myself and face possible failure, but I’m okay with this, I have my friend Lucy who knows I can do this. Lucy, of course, is her inner ally, the friendly wolf in the story above who offers encouragement and support. Lynn’s plan then is, if her Donald appears with discouraging comments, she can gently dismiss him, then listen to her friendly and encouraging inner voice, called Lucy. You can also just objectify the thoughts and call them ‘critical thoughts’ or ‘helpful thoughts’ and see them as apart from yourself.

When I am in front of the computer and my mind goes blank I stand up, stretch, drink a glass of water, listen to what I’m telling myself, which is something like, this article is stupid. Then I remind myself that even though I know lots of strategies, not all my readers do, or even if they do it helps to be reminded. Then away I go again. I might have to remind myself again when negative thinking arises.

Annabel has trouble regulating her weight and she likes to snack on junk food in front of the television at night. She has decided that when she visits the supermarket she will not buy calorie dense junk food, and will buy fruit that she enjoys instead. In addition she recognises that she needs to do something with her hands so she will either fold her washing and do the ironing or she will knit.

If-then thinking means if unhelpful thinking or actions arise you remind yourself what your constructive plan is, and take one small step. To quote Gabriele Oettingen, “If obstacle or appropriate situation, then goal-directed behavior.”

Oettingen, Gabriele. Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation (Kindle Locations 1823-1824). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. I thoroughly recommend reading her book.

Once you have that step mastered you can take another step. It all adds up.

You can WOOP anywhere, anytime, ad hoc during the day when you need it, in bed when you are reflecting, discuss it with a friend or colleague, and you can write it down. Writing it is a great learning strategy; the more senses you use when you’re learning a new skill the better you learn it. Like Dr Seuss in  Green Eggs and Ham, you can do it anywhere! Remember:

Wish
Outcome
Obstacles
Plan

In summary, for every inner nagging voice you have an ally; develop a plan and get going now; remember WOOP, it helps you get it all together.

What small step can you take now that will make a difference? Make it something you already know that works.

Need help? I’m here.

 

---

If you have developed some bad sleep habits, unrelated to health or crisis issues, that you would like some help to address then coaching could be the answer. You can contact me here.

---